you pair of douchebags.
A diplomat accused of “dumping” his adopted daughter flew home yesterday after triggering a row about the ethics of Europeans adopting Asian children.
Jade, a seven-year-old of South Korean origin, is the focus of an escalating dispute across two continents. At the age of four months she was adopted by a Dutch consular officer based in Hong Kong, Raymond Poeteray, and his wife Meta. But the couple have now surrendered Jade to the Hong Kong social welfare department for readoption, reportedly because the child could not adapt to Dutch culture.
The revelation has sparked protests amid claims that the couple were treating the child as if she were an unwanted present. She had been discarded like “a piece of household rubbish”, said the Dutch daily De Telegraaf. (I agree)
Mr and Mrs Poeteray, back in the Netherlands yesterday, defended their actions, claiming that they had acted on medical advice.
Mr Poeteray, 55, said that when the family moved from Indonesia to Hong Kong three years ago, “medical specialists” said that Jade had “serious bonding problems”. (dumbest excuse ever)
They had embarked on family therapy, but without success. “To our great disappointment, things didn’t get better, they got worse, and the rest of the family began to suffer hugely from that,” he said. The couple have an older son, and a younger child born after Jade’s adoption. (initially, they claimed to have adopted her because they couldn’t have kids of their own.)
By the middle of last year they were being urged by doctors, social workers and the adoption agency, Mothers Choice, to place the child in temporary care, the diplomat said in an open letter to De Telegraaf.
“Although the specialists now think it is not possible that Jade can be brought home, we continue to hope. We will do our best to find a solution allowing her to find happiness in her life,” he wrote. “This is a private matter, for which we as parents bear the responsibility . . . the publicity itself is already painful enough, but what’s worse is it doesn’t help us find a solution for our problems.”
The Poeterays never applied for Dutch citizenship for Jade, but claim that this was an administrative oversight. (liar liar pants on fire.)
The family’s plea for privacy and understanding has been ignored. Online chatrooms have hosted hundreds of comments about the case, most of which condemned the actions of a public servant paid to represent his country. “Of course a child that has been given away for adoption is going to have a fear of emotional bonding!” said Anna, from Lelystad, on the De Telegraaf website.
Another said: “What would they have done if their own children had been sick? Would they have given them away? This man is sick himself – can’t he be given away?”
The Dutch Foreign Ministry, embarrassed by the international fuss, has recalled the diplomat for consultations but is standing by him. Many Dutch bloggers, however, argue that he has committed an offence against natural justice and that he should resign from the diplomatic service.
One blogger found a reference to a party that the Poeterays held in January 2005 in which one grateful guest thanked the diplomat, “his lovely wife Meta and young son Jamie”. There was no mention of Jade, suggesting that she was not fully accepted as a member of the family.
The hostility is in part because the case has stoked up lingering suspicions about the commitment of Europeans to adopted Asian children. Two years ago an Irish couple caused outrage in Asia when they returned a child to an Indonesian orphanage, saying that she did not fit in.
National pride is at stake and some Asian governments fear that they could end up in tangles similar to those experienced by African countries unless tighter guidelines are introduced. (It’s not about national pride, it’s about being a freaking human being.)
The South Korean Consulate in Hong Kong said that Mr and Mrs Poeteray had complained that Jade was not adapting to Dutch culture or food. “That is the reason they gave for why they want to discontinue the relationship,” a South Korean official said.This was met with incredulity. “ They adopted her when she was a baby,” said Law Chi-kwong, a professor at the department of social work at Hong Kong University. “They are responsible for shaping the child’s mind and culture. How can you say that the child cannot adapt to the culture in which she was raised?”
Dutch newspapers tracked down a former babysitter yesterday who took care of Jade when she was a baby in Indonesia. She too was bemused by the fate of the little girl whom she remembers as a quiet but normal child. “I took care of her in the evenings, while an Indonesian woman was with her in the daytime,” she told De Telegraaf. “But Meta did not treat as her real daughter.”
The Hong Kong authorities are searching for new adoptive parents. Jade speaks Cantonese and English and, despite the claims that she could not communicate with her parents, some Dutch. (article)
It’s funny how people holding such high positions could be the biggest tools ever. You’d think they can take some of their intelligence and invest it in areas that count.
yeah, u tell ‘em!
I am of the opinion that the diplomat and his wife used little Jade as a ‘tool’ to integrate better in Asia – to show a little Asian baby as their daughter. Like showing a little dog, which possibly can be taught tricks. When little baby Jade started growing up, as all babies do, and refused to show tricks and come to heels when called, then she was abandoned. They should have adopted a monkey or a dog instead of a child. This is a monstrous crime against this seven-year-old baby – she is going to carry this scar for the rest of her life
While deliberating on the horrible actions of Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray, let us not forget the ‘legal rights’ of little Jade. For seven years, she grew up in Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray’s household, thinking that they are her family. Now they have abandoned her. . Every action has a consequence – Society and the Hong Kong Government must ensure that Mr. and Mrs. Poeteray and his employer, the Netherlands, are legally responsible for all expenses related to this child for a very long time. Once she has reached legal age, she should still have the rights to seek further compensation.
The arguments that Mr. Poeteray has put forward for abandoning his child are not logical and sustainable, especially if this case ever goes to court. This child was adopted from the age of four months; it is the duty of her parents to bond with her. The fact that this child has not learned Dutch but speaks English and Cantonese clearly indicates that she has spent more time with English and Cantonese speaking people, instead of her parents. Possibly from adoption, this child was ignored and neglected and hence, never had the opportunity to bond with her parents.
Mr. Poeteray represents his country in Asia. After this event, I am not sure which Asian country will ever have any respect for him or accepts him as a representative. Through his actions against Jade, he has shown himself and his country, the Netherlands, in a very negative light. I suggest that his employers permanently call him back from Asia. He and his wife will always be known as the ‘Dutch couple who abandoned little Jade”. Instead of being an asset, he is going to be a major liability in any capacity, especially when placed anywhere in Asia.
Okay, you guys are the douchebags.
What they tell you in the news is never the whole story. I’m not going to release all the details that I know for sake of their own privacy, which all of you obviously don’t care about. The newspapers haven’t even got it close. Jade was a lot more of a problem than she is made out to have been. Get to know the people personally before you go around ruining peoples lives.
Right back at you douchebag. You don’t need to know about a person personally to know that throwing away a child is wrong, especially when you put all the blame on her rather than yourself. You’d have to be a complete moron to think they are the victims…..oh wait, you are.
WE ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGES
I know the Poeteray’s personally, and I do not believe that the reason they adopted Jade is to use her as a ‘tool’ to fit in better in Asia. I do not believe that it is such a bad decision to make to give her up for readoption. Why would young Jade want to live in that kind of environment, if she doesn’t fit in? It would be much better for her to find a new family where she is majourly accepted and could live a happier life. She has already been affected by living in a culture that she has not accepted so why force her to continue this life style?